Brene Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past ten years studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame. She spent the first five years of her decade- long study focusing on shame and empathy, and is now using that work to explore a concept that she calls “Wholeheartedness.” She poses the questions:" "
- How do we learn to embrace our vulnerabilities and imperfections so that we can engage in our lives from a place of authenticity and worthiness? "
- How do we cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection that we need to recognize that we are enough - that we are worthy of love, belonging, and joy
Guilt= I've done something bad vs Shame= I am bad
“How to's” FAIL! - the gap between knowing and doing is the great divide. - so, “what blocks happiness?” is the alternative question."
" Shame drivers:" • Never good enough - seeds of perfectionism " • Who do you think you are? You're not worthy of love... of belonging" " Females: Conflicting expectations for perfection! - picture-perfect life" Males: Don't be perceived as weak! - Vulnerability is not masculine
Shame Resilience is a capacity. Those with it:" • understand shame and know what triggers it." • tell their story and use the word. " • have the ability to tell their story and like who they are in the process."
People with shame resilience live with:! • more authenticity, genuine and fulfilling relationships" • possess a sense of love and belonging - “being enough”" • an ability to love themselves and others despite “imperfection”" • a resilient spirit - they can get back up and move on after setbacks"
" Shame Resilience can be developed... by confronting and working through our shame. There is no “down side”. but it sucks getting there”